Doggy style étiquette

I’ve just had the pleasure of spending the weekend with the lovely Iris, a canine companion with possibly the sweetest nature ever (unless you’re a police person. Read on…)

Socialising with a dog reminded me again what an excellent a-hole filter they are. With Iris by my side I’ve had an abundance of smiles and chats with strangers, but I’ve also noticed those people who have obviously spent too much time on the tube (or similar). God forbid they should make eye contact or react in the slightest way to big brown eyes and a waggy tail (that’s Iris, not me – I have blue eyes).

Who could resist?

People who don’t like dogs are weird. Not that I’m judging …except that I really am. I completely understand that some may be nervous/scared of dogs, but they generally explain. It’s the ones that carry on as if she’s not even there – I suspect they are droids of some kind.

Iris makes a friend on the bus.

Spending time with a ‘bitch’ has also made me wonder – is our etiquette further evolved or have we just over-complicated things? Dogs are the grand masters of keeping it simple and socialising is instinctual. Now I’m not suggesting that we should all be going around sniffing each other’s bits (perish the thought!) but, in my humble opinion, things run a lot smoother when we’re upfront and just get to the point, a la woofers.

It's a dog's life...now.

Bad manners come from the master, not the mutt, and Iris is a perfect example. She was found wandering and neglected by whoever her previous owners were <insert rude word(s) of choice re previous owners>. Luckily she landed on her paws when my friend adopted her. She is now healthy, happy and loved, but if she could talk she could still tell a story of two from her previous life.

Loving it up at the pub.

Iris’ manners are near impeccable thanks to her new mum’s training, but, as we found out at the weekend, her previous owners also taught her a thing or two. We took her to the pub (‘you can’t teach an old dog new tricks’ applies more to me than Iris…) and she had a great time charming the patrons and staff alike, until a policeman walked in. At some point in her life Iris has clearly been taught to spot ‘the shades’ (as they’d say in Cork).


The point is proven yet again; there are no bad dogs – just bad owners.

Sandy tug o' war. The Mr has no chance.