Sunday, 13 May 2012

Caution: May contain rants

‘Caution: Recipe contains nuts.’ No shit Sherlock – it’s a packet of nuts. I was enjoying my fancy-pants honey-roast cashews until I spied this gem. Have we seriously reached the stage where we need to be warned that a packet of nuts contains nuts? This type of thing has a real tendency to unleash effs and jeffs forth from my gob at a rate of knots.

Every time I see ‘Caution: Contents may be hot’ on the lid of a cup specifically designed to carry hot beverages I can’t help but shake my head and wonder where mankind is headed. Shouldn’t we be allowing a little natural selection here? These labels seem to be written expressly for utter eejits.

But of course it’s not really fools that the caution-happy companies are worried about, it’s the ambulance chasers and their greedy cohorts. It used to be that people fell over in the street and their main concern was emerging with their ego intact, now they expect a fat cheque in return for being a clumsy clod. For shame. 

The mind-numbing world of daytime TV is filthy with it – ads every five minutes encouraging people to sue the arse of each other. ‘Has someone looked at you funny? You may be entitled to compensation…’
I’m all for laws that protect the innocent or wronged, but the blame culture we find ourselves in is ludicrous. Judges are ordering rewards when they should be saying ‘Man up and get some common sense!’ Is there any hope we can apply a little perspective?
The trend for litigation undoubtedly started in the US, where they have made the transition from the ridiculous to the bizarre…apparently a Californian man is suing BMW because one of their motorbikes gave him an erection that lasted two years. There are no words.

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