I've wittered on about
networking socially (children) before but a year is a long time on
the Internet and much has changed. Facebook is going downhill rapidly. For me
it took a downturn when my mother signed up (sorry mother, I love you dearly,
but the Internet is no place for you) but it's been plummeting further and
further of late.
The front runners in
the bloodthirsty battle of my grievances are ads (do I want to learn the latest
celebrity secret to a flatter stomach? Of course! Let me just click on this
link and give you my credit card details!) and 'inspirational' quotes with pictures
of sunsets put together (badly) in PowerPoint. The latter, in particular, must
STOP. I'm all for counting your blessings and looking on the bright side - as
I've said before, more than once; in this world, if you know where your next
meal is coming from and you're not having the arse shot off you, you're doing
pretty well - but twee pictures and saccharine sick-making sentiment in flowery
fonts do not inspire me. They make me want to punch people, especially the
people that post them.
As for candy crush
feckin' saga…Shove your invites. Shove them right up your arse. They're almost
as bad as farmville. And to the 'like of you hate cancer'/'scroll on if you
don't have a heart' brigade I say; If you care that much, don't share and like
this crap – get out and do something useful. Raise some money. Give some blood.
Not only are these posts a scam, they are patronising, infuriating
and undermine people trying to actually make a difference. We all hate cancer –
you take that as a given you fools.
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| This drivel must STOP |
'Well why don’t you
bin the bloody thing then?' I hear you ask. I would, but it does still have its
uses, like staying in touch with people that I don’t have the time, or proximity,
to catch up with individually. And I get to see what the offspring of friends and
family in far away lands look like (yes I actually like the baby photos – WITHIN REASON. Don’t go too wild people…)
That said, there is
also the sense of obligation to be 'friends' with people you barely know/like,
especially those dull individuals who feel the need to update their status every time they
have a cup of tea (we don't need or want to know). But you can hide their posts
and carry on in blissful ignorance of the inane twaddle that's being spouted
(yes – that includes my inane twaddle).
As my Facebook use
has declined my Twitter use has seen a significant increase. I actually say
things now (more of that inane twaddle) rather than simply chuckling and pawing
at my phone screen. I don’t just follow famous people; I now follow strangers
(some of them very strange indeed). Rest assured I do not accept sweets from
them though.
Buoyed by partial
or complete anonymity, people are far more honest on Twitter, and far funnier
as a result. Very random people make me chuckle on a daily basis with their
very random comments, indeed I often laugh out loud (note I do not LOL. The
term LOL vexes me and also needs to STOP). It is especially amusing to read the
running commentary on popular TV shows, especially the shameful ones (you don’t even have to watch said shows, you can get all the
entertainment you need from the viewing tweeters).
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| No need to actually watch it. Thank god. |
Twitter is a bit of
a nut to crack. There's often a sense of 'you had to be there' and finding
decent random strangers can be hard, but it's worth it for the resultant witty
repartee and general silliness. To think I used to take the piss out of my friend
and her penchant for Internet chat rooms at university, and here I am
frolicking virtually in their mutated offspring (with actual mutants some of
the time).
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| Sometimes 'you had to be there'... |
There is, of course, also a
serious side to Twitter. Several times in the past few years people have used
it as a means of sharing information when traditional media fails, or is
controlled by governments. But I wouldn’t know too much about the political
side of things, I'm too busy retweeting fart jokes and making smart-arse
remarks.
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| He he he |
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| Topical Twitter |
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